Sometimes, if I'm totally honest, I get scared that if he's not in my social media profile photos, I'm suggesting he's not a part of me; if I forget to put his wedding ring on my right thumb in the morning, I'm neglecting him; If I can sing along to a song that once brought pain, my heart is forgetting.
But there's no getting away from whatever face I have on, whatever I wear, however much I sing or laugh or talk, he is a very part of me. His love has made me who I am, and the strength I never had but now know is not a sign of forgetting, but of learning to live with him being in but not in my life.
It's not leaving behind, it's stepping forward differently.
Sometimes love in action is impossible but it never dies in your heart.
7 years ago tomorrow Ems asked me out one highly exciting lunch hour.
Now 7 years.
A life changing 7.
"I've got something to tell you..." he said.
And now, I have so much to tell him.
I once travelled happily alone. Then the most beautiful thing happened and suddenly I was half of two; two became one. But before I could start to document our life together, his life was tragically gone. My darling Ems is now in the bright lights of Heaven and I remain. This is the story of my journey from here. Gratefully a journey that One whose ways are above all of ours takes with me. One day I'll reach those bright lights for myself but until I do, join me on my journey, keeping memories close.